Logical

I’ve noticed that despite being an empathetic person, I can become indifferent, cold or detached to someone who is always venting their issues. One may limit this to compassion fatigue, and one may also notice the irony of me venting about it; but what’s really annoying is when someone is intensely bothered by something that’s extremely easy to solve. 

Like clearly it’s draining your energy, your soul. Clearly it’s making you cry everyday. To think I know someone, who would get teased by their online gaming group, then cry about it, and then play with them the next day, and the next and the next and the next. With it usually ending in tears. 

And then you have the audacity to tell me about it? 

…everyday?

Comparatively, the problems that bother me the most are the ones that aren’t easy to solve. The ones outside of my control. So I almost view it as a luxury to have a problem that’s easily solvable, and somewhat disrespectful to treat it like it’s the end of the world. Like if it’s causing you this much distress and pain, why engage? As though being in a boiling bath and not…just…getting out. As though you’re some machochist who enjoys the pain. Like what? 

So it’s less so compassion fatigue, and more so questioning it’s worth of compassion. Should I give all my energy to someone who won’t even make an attempt to change their situation whatsoever? “Like i don’t have the energy for self loathers man, i don’t have the energy for it. If you’re not solution oriented, then shut the f up” A problem that’s easy to solve doesn’t deserve that much energy from me, and it definitely shouldn’t from the person experiencing it. I just feel many problems need less compassion and more action. Well who am I to decide? You’re absolutely right. People who do this, often do it because they feel it’s a safe space to be vulnerable, to be irrational, to receive warmth. 

So to be logical can be extremely hurtful, even if my intention is to help. I am not saying this line of thinking is correct, in fact, it usually happens subconsciously. Just as the person may not be aware that I’ve become an outpost of their pain. But to have boat loads of compassion for something that can be fixed in less than 5 seconds is just out of order. This births the logical solution orientated man who will steer the ship away from compassion and towards action in order to restore order. A world where problems with convenient solutions are no longer problems. 

Society as an extension carries an implicit desire to restore order. It is the reason why someone conventionally attractive can display arrogance, and the comments will be filled with people saying they’re not all that, while someone unconventionally attractive may demean themselves, and the comments will be filled with people calling them beautiful. I don’t think this is the optimal thing to do, but the point is, no matter the direction, when someone deviates strongly from the equilibrium, there is this desire to restore order. Like don’t get ahead of yourself! Order is cold. 

Irrespective of that, and returning to my original frustration, I just feel there’s enough real problems to be wasting time on ghosts. The inefficiency probes at the logical side of my brain until my compassion disappears. 

It’s that imbalance that bothers me.

Well of course, I could just stop talking myself 

Well of course, If I truly don’t know why someone can’t just fix their problem, then perhaps I am the luxurious one

There are many sides of me, I don’t agree with any individually. 

Imbalance will cut even deeper for a people pleaser, as their relationships will often involve giving more than they’re receiving. There is never a balance. So when their efforts are suddenly thrown in their face or underappreciated, they will snap harder than ever, and let loose everything they’ve held back in consideration of another’s feelings. They will restore order. Even for non-confrontational people, there is a level of discrepancy that is difficult to tolerate.

“Absolutely. Let’s take your stream of thought and translate it into a clear, structured explanation of what you’re expressing. Because there’s a very sharp principle underneath this—it’s just expressed with emotional intensity and layered insight.